Book Review: Velocity, By Dean Koontz

I thought I'd do a book review for Velocity, by Dean Koontz after finishing it the other day (in around three days).

I've had it for a while, but just hadn't picked it up till a few days ago. It's also the first book of his I read. I have The Taking and Midnight to read. Anyway, I decided to read it because I was having problems getting through Stephen King's Insomnia. 195 pages into that book, but it seems like it's started to get going now, finally.

Right, so Velocity?

I've no idea whether Dean Koontz uses the formula for the vast majority of his books, but I found that his chapters here were quite short (which was a good learning experience for me, considering my chapters are short). He tended to end them on a cliffhanger as well, which gave the book a real 'page-turner' feel. I wouldn't have finished it so quickly if it wasn't a page turner. It's a good book, but there are a few faults with it.

The premise is that there's a troubled man, called Billy Wiles, working at a local tavern and his fiancee is in a coma. He is very much a loner. One day, he leaves the tavern to find that someone has left a note on his car's windshield. The note says that if he goes to the police, an elderly woman will die. If he doesn't go to the police, a lovely blonde schoolteacher will be killed instead. This leaves Billy in a quandary, but he writes it off as it being a joke note. That is until someone turns up dead. After that, the whole book is essentially a game of cat and mouse with Billy trying to figure out who's killing people and having to make difficult choices. If you get really into the book, you should also be trying to decide along with Billy what you'd do in his position.

Now then, the book I enjoyed. But as I said, it's not without faults. Early on, I had an idea who was killing people. So, it was partly predictable, but to the book's credit, it did make me change my mind as I got towards the end, only to go 'I knew it'. Well, that's in relation to one part of the plot anyway. In addition, the ending was wrapped up quite quickly, but that is actually something I didn't have much of a problem with. In life or death situations, things are normally sorted out quickly anyway and I don't view the book's ending as mattering. What does matter is the journey and what a journey it was, with you wanting to find out how Billy will get out of his predicament.

Speaking of Billy, he was quite a strong character, I thought. Not as well developed as you'd find in a King book, because King dedicates a lot of pages to setting up characters and such. But still pretty well done as he undergoes quite a bit of growth and he is quite resourceful as a result of his past.

The book was intellectual as well, I thought, which I did really enjoy. Well, maybe not intellectual, but it did give insights into the human condition. I always try to dig into the human condition myself to try and make people feel with my writing.

So, in summary, as long as you don't mind some brutal aspects of the book, the creepiness and a rather disturbing serial killer, then it's well worth a read, but I wouldn't expect it to be hard to work out who's doing the killing, as long as you pay attention. I didn't find it that brutal, disturbing etc. either, but I just said it in case others are quite squeamish. But then again, I'm not easily disturbed.

On Opening Hooks & First Sentence Rules

There seems to be a 'rule' that you need to hook with the first words/sentence. As with all rules, it's advice. I'm here to disprove that it's a rule, as some books simply don't call for someone to end up dead or whatever in the first sentence. Some are slow builds and character driven.

It is, however, good advice. You do want to grab the reader's interest as quickly as possible or else there's no reason for them to read on, but you shouldn't feel you need to do it with the very first sentence by any means. Sadly though, I don't have a good estimate as to how long you normally have. First page/paragraph - the end of the first chapter? I'm just guessing here. (I'd quite heavily lean towards the first page/paragraph though, as it varies from reader to reader on how much time they'll give you.)

Really though, before I continue, what you need to ask yourself when writing something and wondering whether the hook needs to come in the first sentence, is 'if a reader cannot read beyond the first sentence, are they the audience I need to worry about with this particular book?'

With that out of the way, let me show some excerpts from published works (opening paragraphs) and people have to remember you also have the book blurb/description to fall back on as well:

Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen

'It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in posession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.'

Rebecca, by Daphne De Maurier (isn't there a 'rule' where you shouldn't start with a dream, by the way?)

'Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again. It seemed to me I stood by the iron gate leading to the drive, and for a while I could not enter, for the way was barred to me. There was a padlock and a chain upon the gate. I called in my dream to the lodge-keeper, and had no answer, and peering closer through the rusted spokes of the gate I saw that the lodge was uninhabited.'

Pegasus, by Robin McKinley (despite the character having a pegasus, I'm not sure I'd treat that as starting with a bang by any means)

'Because she was a princess she had a pegasus.'

The Lord of the Rings, by J. R. R. Tolkien (granted, you could say that it's interesting that someone's going to be celebrating their 111th birthday, but it's a fantasy story. Not that interesting. You could also say the 'part of special magnificence' is interesting, but really, is it very hook'ish?)

'When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton.'

Wizard's First Rule, by Terry Goodkind (first published work and a bit of a dull opening if you ask me with it talking about vines)

'Dusky variegated leaves hunkered against a stem that wound in a stranglehold around the smooth trunk of a balsam fir. Sap drooled down the wounded bark, and dry limbs slumped, making it look as if the tree were trying to voice a moan into the cool, damp morning air. Pods stuck out from the vine here and there along its length, almost seeming to look warily about for witnesses.'

Watchers, by Dean Koontz

'On his thirty-sixth birthday, May 18, Travis Cornell rose at five o’clock in the morning. He dressed in sturdy hiking boots, jeans, and a long-sleeved, blue-plaid cotton shirt. He drove his pickup south from his home in Santa Barbara all the way to rural Santiago Canyon on the eastern edge of Orange County, south of Los Angeles. He took only a package of Oreo cookies, and a large canteen full of orange-flavored Kool-Aid, and a fully loaded Smith & Wesson .38 Chief’s Special.'

Twilight, by Stephenie Meyer (I know this example will be looked upon favorably, but it's valid)

'MY MOTHER DROVE ME TO THE AIRPORT WITH THE WINDOWS rolled down. It was seventy-five degrees in Phoenix, the sky a perfect, cloudless blue. I was wearing my favorite shirt— sleeveless, white eyelet lace; I was wearing it as a farewell gesture. My carry-on item was a parka.'

Fifty Shades of Grey, by E L James (again, another example that will be looked upon favorably.)

'I SCOWL WITH frustration at myself in the mirror. Damn my hair— it just won’t behave, and damn Katherine Kavanagh for being ill and subjecting me to this ordeal. I should be studying for my final exams, which are next week, yet here I am trying to brush my hair into submission. I must not sleep with it wet. I must not sleep with it wet. Reciting this mantra several times, I attempt, once more, to bring it under control with the brush. I roll my eyes in exasperation and gaze at the pale, brown-haired girl with blue eyes too big for her face staring back at me, and give up. My only option is to restrain my wayward hair in a ponytail and hope that I look semi-presentable.'

And just for kicks, while it's from Dean Koontz, do you know that 'rule' about not starting with the weather?

The Taking, by Dean Koontz

'A FEW MINUTES PAST ONE O’CLOCK IN THE morning, a hard rain fell without warning. No thunder preceded the deluge, no wind. The abruptness and the ferocity of the downpour had the urgent quality of a perilous storm in a dream.'

And have you heard that 'rule' about not starting with dialog? (I've got an opening I'm rather fond of myself that starts with dialog, but I'm nowhere near ready to write the story yet.)

The Vision, by Dean Koontz (admittedly, it's not something that would normally be said, but still)

'‘Gloves of blood.’'

Origin, by J. A. Konrath

'“Where is it?” Theodore Roosevelt asked John Stevens as the two men shook hands. Amador, Shonts, and the rest of the welcoming party had already been greeted and dismissed by the President, left to wonder what had become of Roosevelt’s trademark grandiosity.'

Blaggard's Moon, by George Bryan Polivka

'"On a post. In a pond."'

So, what all of this comes down to is it's best to not take anything you read online as rules. The best bet, when you're stuck, is to pick up a book off your bookshelf and read. That's not to say there's absolutely no value in what's said though. Like I said above, it's good advice about hooking from the first sentence, but it depends on what you're writing. Just grab the reader's interest as quickly as possible. Also, do your best to not let people influence your writing, by trying to 'coach' you or 'tell' you how things are done.

Ultimately, just pick the starting point that feels right 'to you'. Not to others.

And to end this, I'll leave you with a link to another blog post on someone else's blog that discusses opening lines. There's also this link.

On Editing: Part 2

I wasn't happy with the previous post on editing. 1) It was long-winded. 2) It came to my attention that the example I'd used didn't make much sense, which is fine, considering it's still in the early writing stage. But still, it shows that writers are often too close to their own work and it annoyed me that I didn't catch it.

I hope to rectify both of the above issues with this post.

So, let's take a look at how we can edit the new opening paragraph (two now actually) so that it's tighter:

Self-loathing. Robert knew all about thatself-loathing.

He stood by his car, parked outside the village cafe (Quick Fix), and viewed his new home. A manor which loomed in the distance, a relic from last century, with its back againsto the sea. It had only just sunk inHe'd only just realised that he owned the entire Pendleton Estate. And the manor was just what he needed. He could hide there from civilisation without risk of being disturbed and write.

That is a few words tighter. It makes sense. It's not perfect, probably. For starters, while it's tighter, I'm not sure I want to take out the 'Self-loathing' sentence fragment. I probably will, but I'm not 100% sure yet.

Anyway, let's take an example from a polished work now, which are two sentences from To Take A Life, which'll be published in the short story compilation when it's done (though I'll be having it edited by someone else before it's published, so there might be differences in the final version):

And then you find yourself wonderingquestioning if God existedthere was a god. If He didexisted, why would He let her die?

There wasn't really anything wrong with the previous version before I edited it. However, I realised I could say the same thing with less words without losing my style. That is why I made the changes.

Style is important, by the way. Never cut so much that your style is lost. It's a balancing act between cutting and trying to decide what should be more wordy for style reasons. Like, you might just be a more wordy writer than me. Lord of the Rings probably wouldn't have achieved the acclaim it has done if Tolkien had been told to cut down on wordiness. His books aren't for me, but that doesn't make them bad or him a bad writer.

For instance, if I may quote a certain passage from Lord of the Rings, chosen at random:

'For some time he had sat silent beside Bilbo's empty chair, and ignored all remarks and questions.'

Now, if I were to rework it:

'For some time, he had sat silentbeside Bilbo's empty chair, and kept to himselfignored all remarks and questions.'

Or:

'For some time, he had sat silentbeside Bilbo's empty chair, and ignored everything and everyone.' (Bit more clunky actually, in my view, with the two ands, but it's tighter.)

Or:

'For some time, he had sat silent beside Bilbo's empty chair, and kept to himselfignored all remarks and questions.'

However, while those three passages are tighter after being changed to how I'd write them, would you agree that there's a distinct difference in style there? What makes Tolkien Tolkien is gone.

And some people love him because of his writing style. Some people love him because of his world, stories and characters.

If the writing was made as tight as possible, it wouldn't be the same book. And it'd be like it was written by a different writer.

Again, I will reiterate that it's very important to develop your own style (whether for individual works or your work as a whole) and to not feel like you need to conform and always keep everything as tight as possible. The beauty of writing is the vast anount of different writing styles, language use and stories out there. If we were to all conform and keep our writing as tight as possible, then we may as well all write the same way.

What matters is keeping things as tight as possible while 'working within the confines of your own style' so that your style/voice is maintained. And this, to me, alongside editing to make sure everything is clear and reads well, is the most important part of editing. You can over-edit and basically lose any semblance of the unique style you have.

(And this was still long-winded. I'm trying to get the hang of blog posting, but at least the examples made sense this time.)

On Editing

I'm still very much working on the short story compilation currently, but it's fell to the wayside recently as I've been focusing on a horror story (with some mystery elements at first that eventually give way to the horror elements), called The Manor.

I'll be dedicating another blog post to talking about it, but for now, I want to touch on editing.

Some people hate it. Not me.

Why do people hate it?

It's probably because they view it as work and think they're murdering their darlings that they've slaved over for months. I can see why people would think they're murdering their darlings. Scenes being cut, lots of words lost etc.

Before I actually touch on editing though, I want to say why I don't dislike editing my own work. When I do a rough draft, it's not in a nearly unreadable state. The content is mostly fine as well and I don't plan beforehand. With this in mind, what I need to edit for is grammar, tightening, readability and spelling. Writing the rough draft is where I feel it's actual work, albeit very enjoyable work. (Granted, I'm a short story writer, as I don't pad things out and it means a novel may be difficult for me. But so far, The Manor is a longer story and not much different to edit, though I've had to make minor content changes. And to give an idea on how short my writing is, I'm on chapter 4 with 2,927 words written.)

So, why is the editing process a necessary 'evil'?

For a lot of writers, their first draft is wordy and their content is possibly poor. Also, it's possibly badly written in terms of grammar and spelling.

With the rough, first draft, you're creating the story. You're getting the basics down, albeit in an unrefined form. It is only with redrafting and editing that you begin to refine the piece and turn it into something that people would want to read.

Let me show you a few examples of the first two paragraphs in The Manor:

(straight from my head, non-edited) The manor, partly obscured by rolling fog, housed on a hill towered above the village. Abandoned for over a century, it stood a relic of ages past. And looking at it just outside the village pub, it hit Robert that it was all his now. A place to call home, especially when writing, using his trusty old typewriter. He was old fashioned like that. Then there was the all important solitude the place would offer him. A place where he could wallow in self-loathing, without risk of being disturbed.

He locked his car, heard the confirming beep and headed inside the pub. It was relatively quiet inside, with just the odd customer lounging about with the staff either seeming like they’d kill to have something to do or just chatting amongst themselves. (132 words.)

(edited)
Robert could see the manor, situated on a hill and with the sea behind it, from the village cafe. Abandoned for over a century, it stood a relic. He only just realised that it was all his now. A place to call home, especially when writing. Then there was the all important solitude the place would offer him, so that he could wallow in self-loathing, without risk of being disturbed.

He locked his car, heard the confirming beep and headed inside the cafe. It was relatively quiet, with few customers lounging about and the few staff largely idle. (99 words)

(now for the fun part, how it actually looks in my word doc currently) Robert could see Tthe manor, situated on a hill and with the sea behind it partly obscured by rolling fog, housed on a hill from the village cafetowered above the village. Abandoned for over a century, it stood a relic of ages past. And looking at it outside the villagepub, Quick Fix, it hit Robert He only just realised that the manorit was all his now. A place to call home, especially when writing, using his trusty old typewriter. He was old fashioned like that. Then there was the all important solitude the place would offer him., so thatA place where he could wallow in self-loathing, without risk of being disturbed.

He locked his car, heard the confirming beep and headed inside the cafepub. It was relatively quiet inside, with fewjust the odd customers lounging about and the few staff largely idleabout with the staff either seeming like they'd kill to have something to do or just chatting amongst themselves.

(End of examples)

I hope this helps in showing how you might go about editing your own work. Outside of content editing, much of it is to do with tightening and improving your work's readability, alongside making it come alive and eliminating repetition.

I'd like to add that I can already see a few places that I can probably further edit in those two paragraphs (I'd like to eliminate one 'few' as an example in the second paragraph if possible and the first paragraph needs to be edited for clarity, I think). So the job is not done yet with those two paragraphs and they'll quite possibly need several more revisions.

It's a process that is continually repeated until you say 'enough is enough' and 'I have to let it go'. Ultimately, always keep in mind that your writing will never be absolutely 100% perfect before self-publishing or sending it off to an agent/publisher. The only thing you can do is get it in the best shape possible before you decide to take the plunge and self-publish or send it off. In addition, despite what some people may think, an editor would unlikely be able to make something absolutely perfect either. Why? Because there is so much subjectivity involved, even where language is concerned. Like, I may want a comma somewhere and someone else may disagree. How many times have you picked up a book and ignored or added in commas, as an example?

Finally, while it's the opposite of what I do, a piece of advice is to resist the urge to go back and edit things. Wait until you've finished your rough version. I can get away with doing it because it doesn't take me long to make edits and it's not like I'm rewriting entire scenes. So, even though I do the occasional edit, I'm still making quite good progress in terms of furthering the story.

I Have A Book Title

In my introduction post, I mentioned that I was trying to get a compilation of shorts ready for self-publishing. That's still the case and I now have a title:

The Dark Side of Life

So, why that title? Firstly, every story that I'm hoping to include in the compilation deals with different things. I realised it would be quite hard to come up with an appropiate title for the compilation, so I did some thinking today and it hit me that the title I mentioned above would be perfect, as all the stories have one thing in common. They touch on the dark side of human nature.

As far as the writing goes, one short is now practically finished and it is definitely short (more flash fiction), with a word count of 478 words (491 before revising, written a few weeks back). It's quite amazing really how you can see ways of cutting more words when it's already short, after you've had time away from a piece. And that is part of the trick with writing: Making every word count. Not using more words than you have to, while working within the confines of the style you've chosen.

As far as the other stories go, I've started one, but I already know this is not going to flow quite as easily and quickly, partly due to the subject matter and because it's more awkward to write with the main characters being conjoined twins. Then there's the plot, as it's not really something that flows quickly and just writes itself like the finished story did.

In addition, I can rewrite an old short for the compilation. So, that'll definitely help out with things.

Introduction

Hello.

Well, the introduction post is always awkward. So, who am I? My name's David, I'm 27 and from the UK. I'm a writer and I'm looking to have my first book published on Kindle within 1 - 2 months. I'm also a freelance editor. So far, I've edited Red Gone Bad and Bound, by Lucy Pireel. If anyone is looking to hire me, I want to stress that I only really tackle the technical sides of writing when editing, rather than content.

Regarding my book, I'm looking for it to be a compilation of shorts, but I may just make it a novella if I don't feel the short compilation is of adequate size. It could take longer than a month or two as well, considering I'm not going to rush the book out. It'll take as long as it takes. And the stories need to actually be written.

Basically, expect this blog to focus on writing.

That said, I do like video games, television shows and movies, so there may be some posts dedicated to that as well.

Ultimately, I hope this blog will end up being helpful to others.